No joke.

This blog post is about simple truths, or facts, which are clear cut, (straight lines), versus twisted versions of those same events.

Here is an example.

Let’s say your neighbor’s 16 year old son accidentally rear-ends you when you are driving home one night.  Your car is not damaged, so you make no formal report, but you end up with some whiplash, recurring headaches and anxiety about driving.  You tell your neighbor and his son about this.  After a couple of days you talk to your neighbor again, and they respond tearfully and defensively, explaining that their son is hurt and bewildered about the fact that you are upset with him, because he doesn’t even remember the incident.   Your headache just got worse.

I like car metaphors because they are obvious and concrete.

When something bad happens to you at the hands of someone else, like in a car accident or in any other situation, you are not responsible for their feelings when you talk to them or confront them about it.

Perpetrators and people who feel entitled or superior will focus only on their own feelings and needs, and not the feelings and needs of the people they have hurt.  This is another example of how they twist facts and put a spin on them, when the facts are clear cut and straight lined.  An entitled/abusive person will always expect you and others to focus on their feelings, needs and opinions.    That is twisted, and if you follow their “logic” you may begin to feel like your head is spinning.

The fact is that they owe you an apology, at the very least.

If they believe themselves to be entitled or superior, or in other ways “above the law”, it will likely not occur to them that they owe you an apology, since to them it is all about how they feel.  In fact, they may expect you to apologize to them.  Or they might enlist the help of someone to try to get you to change your story.

This doesn’t change the facts, which are clear and straight forward.

As John Adams said, Facts are stubborn things.

Wishing you calm clear thinking.