People Driving Too Fast
When my mother was dying, in Seattle a few years ago, I went to pick up my sister so that we could both go say goodbye to her together. This was a mistake. I got lost, had to turn around and was in a big hurry. We didn’t get there in time to say goodbye. I can’t fix it. I lost that moment.
At one point on the way there an older gentleman walked across the street in front of me. He turned to look at me as I waited for him to cross, and he smiled at me. He had no idea that he was causing me any trouble. I had made the mistake of going to pick up my sister instead of going straight to our mom’s bedside. It wasn’t his fault in any way.
I was feeling pretty agitated as I waited for him, though, but he smiled at me as he crossed the street. If he had instead stood there in front of my car flipping me off because I seemed to be in a hurry, I think I might have gone berserk. I don’t know. It didn’t happen that way.
When people are driving too fast it is possible that they are being jerks.
It is also possible that they are trying to get somewhere that they urgently want and need to be.
You don’t know. It could be a medical emergency, a chemo therapy appointment, the last chance to see a dying parent. Or they could just be out of cigarettes.
It is not your job to shame them.
Pull over and let them go by.
Easy.
This is a post from last year, so I don’t know if you still feel the same way about making the choice to pick up your sister. I don’t know how something like this would affect me. But if you’ve taught me anything over the years, it is that meaning and richness of life comes when we pay attention – to our surroundings, to others. In the big picture, I do not think you did not make a mistake by taking time picking up your sister, even if it meant you got turned around and lost. No one really knows if you would have made it on time and worse yet, you would have been alone as your mother passed and your sister would have been truly alone having missed her and you as well. Yes, you missed a moment, truly one of life’s most difficult moments, but in return you and your sister did not have to shoulder the burden on your own. Perhaps what you assess as a mistake was a hidden blessing during a grief-filled time. I don’t know. It just struck me as I read it – I’m so glad you were not alone.