Women:
Stop apologizing for feeling angry sometimes
Stop letting other people guilt trip you about the expression of anger
as though women are somehow not supposed to express anger

Stop feeling ashamed of anger
Anger is just a feeling
Hand back those shaming messages, yes even to well-meaning people
like therapists.
Anger is just a feeling, and you can feel it.
It doesn’t need to be stuffed, suffocated, shamed, or knocked down
In fact, that’s a pretty good way to pour gasoline on the fire.
If you don’t want conflict to escalate, then stop shaming yourself for being human.

The problem is this:
Anger is a real feeling.
Sometimes, when you try to stuff it down, it tries to explode.
How much healthier (to say nothing of being more comfortable for everyone)
to simply acknowledge it and find words to express it that are also not shaming.
Just to allow it to be a feeling that you feel sometimes, as a passionate woman,
as a human being.
Just as you feel love and joy and sorrow and excitement and hope and calm sometimes
Anger is just a feeling—an expression of part of who you are at any given moment
not who you are in total, but a part of who you are, a part of your wholeness
a crayon in your box of art supplies.

For me,
Anger is just a feeling I feel when something is not right.
It is a statement about my state of mind, not a weapon against you
Your anger is just about you, too, not a weapon against me
Our feelings are unique and separate, and that is how we can express them:
Without shame, threats, or intimidation—simply to recognize them as feelings
and tend to them as though they were small children.

Today I apologize to my Anger:
I am sorry for all of the times I didn’t listen to you
Especially when you were warning me about things I needed to tend to.
I’m sorry I let anyone shame me about you, or compare me to other people they called “saints”
as though these other people did not express anger on a regular basis
and you and I know very well that those people were not saints, and did not walk on water.
I am sorry for the times I stuffed you, Anger,
and for the times when that stuffing created an escalation of conflict
between me and other people
because I was the one who couldn’t see that something needed to change.
I am sorry for those times when I did not listen to you, Anger.

I thank you for all of the times you did get the message through
like that time I realized that I was right, and that I didn’t need the other person to validate it.
When I realized that my seeking validation from another person was keeping me trapped,
and I didn’t need that.  Thank you for setting my heart and my mind free!
Thank, you anger, for being a bright color in my box of crayons

Thank you for warning me of injustice
Thank you for motivating me to take POSTIVE and constructive action
Instead of peeving or giving in to thoughts of vengeance or any kind of aggression, passive or not
Thank you for helping me to find constructive words when I accept you as a feeling,
When I don’t need to fight through my own fear and resistance.
Thank you for dissipating so easily and quickly when I listen and hear you and accept the situation
Thank you for helping me to understand that I can know you as a guiding hand
Instead of fearing you
Thank you for teaching me to respect myself and others.

P.S.
I also forgive myself for losing my temper once in a while.
For when I didn’t use the right words.
For when I reacted in haste, and had to apologize to someone later.
I’m human.

I apologize to anyone I may have hurt in the process, unless, of course, you needed to be told off.
My best advice:  Forgive everyone and let go.

Peace!