Before our wedding a few years ago, I was concerned about having everyone in the wedding party get along. It turns out not everyone I expected ended up being part of the event, and turned out to be OK.
In fact, we were incredibly blessed with kind people, and our wedding day was amazingly joyful and sweet.
Before the big day, I wrote up this request to my women of honor and all the people who helped us out. I called it, simply, the Philosophy of the Bride.  I hope it is helpful for some of you as well!

The Philosophy of the Bride

We are on the Island (planet) of Misfit Toys.  We all have our problems or misfortunes, and we all are graced with some touch of the Divine.  Our job is to see the Divine in each other, through the eyes of our internal Santa Claus.

Duties of the Women of Honor and other distinguished guests at the wedding:

• Be KIND

Weddings and family gatherings may be stressful for many who attend.  To counteract this tendency, I enlist my Women of Honor (and other guests) to be especially gracious and kind.  I was a Girl Scout—and to paraphrase the Girl Scout law I would say:  be trustworthy, be loyal, be helpful, courteous, cheerful, and above all, be gracious.  Even if another guest does something that sets your teeth on edge, remember that they are a guest of the bride and groom, and we are all imperfect beings.  Give them kindness, even if it means we have to repair something.  If you can’t think of anything nice to say, you are not trying hard enough.  On our wedding day we want everyone to get along and be as peaceful as possible, so that we may enjoy and celebrate the moment.

• Say yes. Hopefully with all of the last minute things to do there will be a graceful flow of tasks.  Whether we are decorating the space, setting up tables or chairs, or repairing dresses, refer back to #1 and say yes.  Just for a few days, and especially on the wedding day, say yes.  I thank you in advance!

• If you see me starting to lose it, refer back to #1. Keep me grounded, but do it gently.  Let me have my moments—it could be emotionally interesting, but most of all—happy.

• Other duties will include helping set things up, taking things down, dressing, meeting and greeting guests, and having as much fun as possible. Week of event and Day of event calendars are being developed, will be printed, and everyone will have a checklist—I hope.

Thank-you for being part of our wedding!